The Truth Behind Being A Drug Addict.
My drug experience is with being a methamphetamine abuser, so that is what will be explained and thoroughly clarified throughout this writing piece.
How can anyone assume that someone just wakes up one morning and says, “I’m perfectly fine with the idea of smoking crystal meth; I think I’m going to try it out today.” We don’t.
When I say ‘we’, I am referring to not only people with meth addictions, but all drug and alcohol addicts as well. Then, how/why do drug addictions begin? Why do the users continue abusing? For the majority of people, at some point, they got thrown into a bad position where they felt pressured, cool, or indifferent to hit the pipe given to them.
I guarantee most meth users today would admit that they simply didn’t know the dangers or consequences of methamphetamines before they began abusing. I need to make this statement very clear- Nobody can or will ever make you put that pipe to your lips, and inhale the smoke from the glass bowl.
YOUR TO BLAME! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT……
Once you melt down those rocks and breathe the poison into those virgin lungs, you have sold your soul to the devil. Once you have invited crystal into your life, it will be all about her and nothing else.
You’ll be: Looking for it, finding it, buying it, using it, selling it, hating it, but desperately in love with it.
When you’ve finally been around the block a few times, there will be those lying statements of, “I won’t let myself get addicted” and “I know when to stop.” There will be broken promises of, “I can quit. I will- promise.” and “I will pay you back, I swear.” You’ll get so infatuated with the dope game to where your life revolves around Tina.
She runs the show now.
You won’t need your family and friends anymore, since meth means more to you than them anyways. Mom’s concerned about your skinny jeans looking two sizes too big and how your face is getting noticeably thin. Your best friend is asking you why you’re so happy at one point and then bitchy the next. You will skip meals to go get high, and end up being awake for days, pretending to not know why. Your room is spotless, but you spend 4 hours picking at your floor anyway. Not able to stop because you’re in the “stuck phase” Everywhere you look, you see shiny rocks, but its only a mirage.
Your imagination playing tricks on you. Oh, those shadow people aren’t real, but you still tell them to go away and they laugh at you.
Every morning- you’re taking a sac to school, hidden in the comfort of your bra. That way, you can sneak into the restroom during lunch break for a line or two..because who needs food? If you can’t go 8 hours at school without any Tina to do- I’m sorry dude, but you’re hooked on that shit too.
You’re in denial. You aren’t addicted right? You can’t be. Its just a stupid drug, and you can stop at any time..right? Then why do the numbers on the scale continue to drop? 40 lbs in just a month? Now you’re out of money and out of drugs.. Feigning so bad just for one hit or bump. Body is aching and your high is rapidly disappearing. You crash on your bed and sleep like a baby. Once you wake, you’re starved and in need of water, you had slept 35 hours. Your sister is worried. “Sissy, are you sick?” You don’t answer, but you know you’re sick with a disease that can’t be fixed. Then you start thinking and finally admit that you’re hooked on the lovely crystal meth.
The breakouts, bleeding fingernails, and bitten lips, won’t stop you from sucking down more and more of that deathly shit. You feel accomplished with each big, white cloud you blow. But listen, the thing about meth is your tolerance never stays low. It builds so quickly. So fast. After you binge abuse meth for awhile, smoking won’t get you high anymore. No more adrenaline rush or squeeze of happy juice. Just white clouds that keep mesmerizing you. You decide you want to quit. For good this time. So you break your beautiful pipe and throw out everything to do with crystal. You feel good, you feel healthy. Until that night..when the voices urge and persuade you. To sneak out and go find some shards. Any rock will do. You ignore them, because you plan to stay clean. They only get louder and more mean. Headphones won’t shush them. Neither will screaming over them. It only gets louder.And louder. And louder. Until they’re screaming and yelling at you to go get high.
Because you’re worth nothing more than a 20 sac, and that makes you cry.
Fuck it. You steal from your family and pawn off their shit. That way you can afford the actual shit. See? You can’t quit. You’ll always go back to it. Months down the road and you’re nothing more than a bag of bones. With rotting teeth and cracked lips. Still hitting the pipe you began it all with.
Is this what you wanted? Is meth worth all of the things that you love?
Your family will disown you, because your drug habit has gone way off the road. Your friends can’t stand watching you do this to yourself. Its only you left. Sitting in the corner of a trap house, scraping the stem of a dirty pipe- just enough to get you high.
Meth isn’t something to fuck around with, because the thing about this game- is crystal won as soon as it began.
You have no chance of winning this war against something so strong. She can turn you into a lifeless junkie once the meth is gone. And once the meth is gone, you’ll do anything in your power to get some more of the rocks. Fuck someone or fuck them over. Anything to get you the high you have become a slave of. You’re wrapped around the devils finger, and he just smiles as he watches you become crystals bitch. You won’t ever have a job or any of your own money. Living on the streets, robbing others just to get that shit, If you’re a meth addict.
Sit down and think for a bit. Are your ribs showing? Your hips protruding? Is your brain fried to where only meth makes you happy? No more sweet dopamine and serotonin, only meth can stimulate your senses and get them going. Are your teeth loose? Are they starting to fall out? If not, keep smoking and you’ll soon find out. Where’s your family? Do they know about your addiction? Get some help before you fall down too far and you can never get back up. And to every single one of you who comes in contact with our little friend Tina, set the pipe down and walk the fuck away from it. Because if you did stop yourself from taking that hit- you’ll actually have a life to live.
Unlike the rest of us, including me, we will be feigning every second for the rest of eternity….. over something so fucking stupid, until the day we die. Because the only way to end this addiction, and get rid of Crystal.. is by having your mouth over the end of a pistol. Look at me and you will see, how much meth harms the mind and body. My eyes, red from lack of sleep. Pupils dilated so big, no blue is left to see. My face is picked at, numerous open wounds. Its cause I hate myself and I don’t have the right to have my skin looking nice. Feel my body. Ribs and hips and wrists are all bone. Size extra small is baggy on me. My thigh gap is ridiculous, a mile in between. My heart beats an irregular beat, because I’m always high on methamphetamine’s.
I wrote this for everyone to read. Not just the fallen out druggies, or the people with drug dependencies. Its to scare people into never touching it, because this isn’t a fairytale. If it had been a fake story, I wouldn’t be sitting here wishing my dealer would hurry.
If I could go back- I would in a heartbeat, …… but we all can’t have what we want, can we?
So I’m wrapping this up with a thoughtful note of goodbye, while you finish reading this, I’m about to get high. If anyone asks you to try it once, say you’ll never.
Because a dance with the devil can last you forever.
By: Lauren Fanning / Bloody (MentalBloody)
Lauren Fanning / Bloody (MentalBloody) 