JUNKIE LOVE AND MY RELATIONSHIPS


LOVE OR METH?


 

Love or meth, which addiction is more destructive? Which are you willing to endure hell, heartbreak and a loss of identity in order to obtain? Love is just as addictive as meth, with an even higher change of dependence. Is euphoric independence more valuable than the temporary love of another person, which may or may not be unconditional? The real questions is, which addiction is worth losing your life? My answer, …. Meth.

I was once a hopeless romantic and I can’t believe I’m saying this, the words taste like poison in my mouth but it’s just fact— I choose meth, over love. Every time. I choose euphoria. I choose emotional freedom. I choose an escape from reality and complete social detachment. That’s my decision. Go ahead and judge me if you must but my decision is unwavering. Why?

Meth won’t manipulate you, it won’t send your calls straight to voicemail or lie about hanging out with an ex behind your back. You’ll never have to hear the common lie, “No, he/she’s just a friend.” or be forced to smell perfume which is not your own and you’ll never feel unwanted. Meth will always want you and it’ll want you forever. Most importantly meth will never leave you, not even for someone thinner, taller or more talented than yourself. Meth will stay with you forever, even when you eventually decide you want to rid yourself of your crystal co-dependence. Those crystals are yours to keep and nothing can tear you apart. Now, would this all still be the case if I had chosen love instead? Not a chance.

Nothing is free and everything comes with a price tag. There’s a price you must be willing to pay before stepping onto that crystal paved road, riddled with anxiety and stocked with all your greatest fears. You must relinquish control of your life, abandon your sanity and anything you believe defines you as a individual, say goodbye to your friends and knowingly shave a few decades off your lifespan. And in exchange for all your sacrifices, the euphoria you’ve spent your life chasing and the freedom you’ve always craved.. will be yours. This life will be yours until the day it kills you.

Don’t forget about the fine print; If once day you realize you’ve made a mistake and you want to change your mind, nothing will be refunded back to you. You’ll spend your entire life desperately searching for even the smallest amount of hope that the old you still exists somewhere, waiting to be reclaimed. You’ll never find that person again because that person is long since dead. You’ll never be satisfied, so before signing on the dotted line and picking up a syringe.. be sure you will never find yourself one day wishing for a tardis, a time lord and a red headed bitch named Amy.

I’m 23 years old and I’ve been in love twice, possibly three times, all ending in the worst heartbreak I’ve ever experienced. I paid an incredibly heavy price in order to have my heart completed by another person, to spend every night sleeping next to someone I cared about more than myself. Only unlike meth, love is completely unpredictable. Meth won’t lie to you. You’re either high or you aren’t. It’s good or it isn’t. Love can fool you into seeing something that isn’t there, believing in feelings that don’t exist and love takes years to build. Euphoria can be yours in only a few minutes and every feeling will be real. It’s a feeling you can trust, can you trust love?

The choice is yours. Which addiction could you devote your entire life to, the company of another person or complete emotional freedom?

Love or Meth?


 

By: Lauren Fanning / Bloody (MentalBloody)


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