Well, I guess it’s kind of like being on a roller coaster, but slower and more dangerous. It’s like daydreaming on a waterbed during an earthquake, but you’re so relaxed you don’t notice the roof caving in.

Have you ever fallen asleep on the beach? That warm sand combined with the subtle ocean breeze, the sand causes your palms to sweat and your world’s so bright you can’t see. It’s comparable to that I suppose, only your entire beach is empty.

It’s like having the best day of your entire life while simultaneously having a heart attack, one you’re not too concerned with because you’ve just had all your wishes granted.

Is there something you want more than anything? Something that would make you happier than you’ve ever been? It’s like having that something delivered right to your door and it’s even been gift wrapped in your favorite color. Oh, and your package arrived moments after you had the best sex of your life. Yeah, I guess it feels something like that. Sometimes.

It’s those feelings of euphoria, happiness and bliss that you felt during the best dream you’ve ever dreamt, only now you’re euphoric while you’re wide awake instead. It’s better than you could’ve imagined it.

It’s dreaming without falling asleep, it’s elation pumping through your bloodstream. It’s the monsters that emerge while you’re wide awake but never scare you enough to make you want to clean your veins or lungs. It’s your most distracting midnight chocolate craving, one that gets you out of bed and binge eating in the kitchen. It’s the craving you’ll always give into, abstaining won’t be an option for you. It’s like having all your senses heightened while free from all emotions, it’s calming, it’s chaotic, it’s the peace we all desire.

How do you explain euphoria to someone who’s never been up that high, never felt that vapor rise or viewed the world with eyes that wide? How do you make someone understand how it feels to crave a cough which makes your head spin?

How do you explain an addiction to someone who doesn’t look for happiness at the bottom of plastic bags? How do you express the feeling of knowing your life depends on the contents of a syringe or pipe? It’s like describing color to the blind or interpreting the sound of rain against pavement, using only sign language.

It’s impossible; no adjectives, no descriptions and nothing poetically written could adequately verbalize this feeling. Nothing could define the reasons we’re all addicted and why we’re too hooked to quit. You won’t understand until you’re in it And when you do, You’ll wish you didn’t.


By: Lauren Fanning / Bloody (MentalBloody)



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