I AM A DRUG ADDICT! NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.

II see you were talking about me… How sweet.

Sooo, I’m just looking over your tumblr and now I’m in fucking tears. Maybe because I’m a fucking heroin addict and I’m too sensitive for life. Or maybe its the fact that I read through this, and I can remember when and what we were doing around the time you posted what… And it was sitting in my house smoking endless heroin and meth. And then I look at that last sentence and want to fucking kill myself. And then I see your last post, and I really fucking hate myself…

What he posted:

“YOU ARE THE BEST FUCKING FRIEND ANYONE COULD ASK FOR AND I DON’T DESERVE YOU”

But im not a good friend … Because, no matter what you say, I did this too you. I put you in this position. I loved you, but still chose to feed your lust and bring you into my cruel decisions. I hate what I let myself let you get into and I hate myself the most when I see that last post and I realize, if it weren’t for me, you’d never even have had to go through any of this.

And it’s all because, I let my self go. I let the METH TAKE ME, AGAIN. And even though you wanted it, I let you have it. I let all of this happen, because HEROIN took control of my life and let me drag you down too.

And then, I see what I’ve become and know I don’t deserve you. I let drugs blind me and put you in the worst kind of danger. I love you more then anything, and I love how you can sit there and say it was so easy to get the fuck out. Because no matter how badly I want too, I CANNOT ESCAPE THIS. I am so grateful for you and that I barely see you anymore because I am affraid I’ll convince you to fall down this fucking rabbit hole with me AGAIN…

HEROIN AND METH RUINED MY LIFE, it consumed me and all that I am, all that made me yours. And I can’t get the fuck away from it. I can’t turn away. It’s holding me here, and it drives me crazy because no matter how hard or badly I want to or try to get clean, I turn right back around and dive in. Like I’m brainwashed. I hate my life and I hate what I’ve become. Heroin and Meth has made me THE WORST friend, mother, girlfriend, sister, daughter, you could picture. I AM A JUNKIE, nothing more nothing less.


By: Lauren Fanning / Bloody (MentalBloody)


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