4 AM THOUGHTS


◇◆4 AM THOUGHTS◆◇


Every night is the same.
Every day goes exactly as the one before it, and so on.
I’m stuck in a never ending cycle that just never seems to fucking end.
I’m surrounded by the same people.
I have all the same friends and yet I am feeling like I have none.
I feel like I might want something to change,

but I’m not too sure on what yet.
I want to go somewhere and never come back.

(How fucking sad is that?)
I want the people around me,

to not be on drugs.
I want them to care about me,

as much as they care for themselves.
I want to not have to worry about money
or  how I’m going to pay rent.
I don’t want to stress over anything, ….

anymore.
I’m tired of scooping meth out of plastic bags and loading bowls.
I’m worried that one day,

I won’t climb out of them.
It’s just like every night.
Nothing seems to ever change.

I pull out my meth pipe,

and look at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes,
“Yeah, I’m tired too.”

But, where would I go?
I need to get out of here soon.


By: Lauren Fanning / Bloody (MentalBloody)


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